My Journey: The Journey Begins

“Home is where the heart is.” 

How many times have you heard that?  I know I’ve heard it probably a hundred times in my life. It never meant anything to me until now.  See, home is not where my heart has been.  To be quite honest, I don’t know where my heart has been.  I just know it’s not been in taking care of my home and my family.  I don’t really know how it happened either.  

 

“Love makes a house a home.”

 

Have you heard that one too?  This one has had the most impact on me lately.  My eyes have been opened to the fact that our home is not the house in which we live.  Home is where memories are made.  Home is a refuge for my family.  Home is where my children learn and grow.  My family needs more than a house, they need (and deserve) a home.

When I first became a stay-at-home mom more than six years ago, I felt that I needed to prove myself worthy of staying home to care for my home and my children.  My boys were ages one year and three years at that time.  I kept a very clean house.  I mopped the floors three times a week and vacuumed daily.  I kept up with the laundry.  I dusted the furniture and changed the sheets each week.  I baked bread.  I got up each morning and made breakfast for my husband and I had dinner ready when he got home in the evenings.  Life was good. 

The next year, we moved to a new town and a larger, much older house.  My boys were more active, making housework harder.  The house seemed to be in a constant state of remodeling (and, therefore, a mess).  I lost interest in cleaning house.  I sometimes made breakfast for my husband in the mornings and usually had dinner ready when he got home in the evenings.  Life was getting harder.

Two and a half years after our first move, we moved to another town into a newer house.  I just knew that I was going to be able to keep this house clean.  I was determined that I wasn’t going to let it get dirty.  My boys were older and I knew it wouldn’t be as much of a hassle anymore. Besides, this house didn’t need to be repaired or remodeled – or so I thought.  The bifold doors in the laundry area broke first.  Then the shower wall caved in and had to be replaced which prompted an entire bathroom remodel to take place.  Then there were the termites.  And the grout cracking in the kitchen tile.  After a while, I lost interest in housework again.  With the boys being involved in sports and Cub Scouts, dinner was rushed and usually something quick so we could get out the door.  I gave birth to our daughter.  I was stressed out about everything.  I rarely made breakfast for my husband and usually had dinner nearly ready in the evenings.  Life was hard.

I am tired of the constant mess.  I am tired of the disorganization.  I am tired of the clutter.  I am tired, period.  Something has to change.  I need to have a heart for my home.  I need my home to be filled with love.  My family deserves a place to relax.  They deserve a nice home. They deserve the best mother and wife that I can be.  See, I’ve realized that it’s not about me anymore.  It’s all about them.  They deserve for me to be my best.  

This is my journey to being the best I can be for my family and finding a heart for home.

 

 

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Published in: on July 22, 2008 at 7:54 pm  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. great post 🙂

    (sometimes I feel like that too..)


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